But it doesn't have to be a crisis or a dealbreaker.īouncing he has already given her one STI. It's not always easy, and it does require honesty about who's using condoms and who's not, etc. But there's other diseases out there, and the BF is definitely engaging in medium-to-high-risk behavior, so the GF needs to ask herself 'is an STI something I'm willing to risk to be with this guy?' (She's already gotten one once, and seems to have been okay with that.) It's a question that any person in a nonmonogamous relationship has to ask, and then work out clear answers for themselves and with their partner(s). That doesn't equal gay - it equals non-normative straight or maybe sorta bi.Īnd: getting HIV from giving a blow job was generally considered impossible last time I checked. I think he likes giving blow jobs anonymously, and he's got a lot of internalized homophobia (most people do). (Not everyone who's lied in the past is a serial liar.)Īnd I don't think he's gay. She sounds like a supportive person who has forgiven him for being untruthful, and now there's truth going on.
